Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
