If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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