she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
