Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
