It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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