You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
And then my night got REAL pukey
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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