You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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