Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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