I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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