Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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