girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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