I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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