Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
