u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Everything about him screamed your future.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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