I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
