I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
