I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
