is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
