Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
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