Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
