it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
