I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
