dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
