im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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