this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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