Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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