Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
