so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize