I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
