Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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