So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
