i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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