omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize