worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize