Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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