hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
