If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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