cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I have tasted many bathrooms
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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