So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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