you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
