I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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