No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
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i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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