do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
