I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
