we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
