Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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