we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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