mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
