when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
