Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Also, beer. Big fan.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
