I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
