dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize