Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
