At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
