I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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