Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
