I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize