There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
