Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
