talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
