we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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