i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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