Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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